In Pursuit of Self: A Million and a Dime

“You’re not just another pretty face” said he jokingly. A quaint laughter of embarrassment and shock at such a comment followed from his wingman – the Architect. Most women in my position by now would be having an internal epileptic shock. They would be overwhelmed at the mind games and the power plays laid out before me. Frankly, I don’t know how I remain so confident and well reserved in these situations either, yet I live in them organically.

I took a walk from the bustle of my office

Here I am, having dinner at the priciest and trendiest of NYC restaurants, at a private table, with a famous Director and a world class architect responsible for quiet a few buildings in my city; And that neither fazes me nor surprises me. Life throws these little bits at me, little treats of experience that most people run for, yet I find myself just calmly walking along.

It’s absolutely funny how men and women chase these people, their status and their riches. They become gold diggers, backstabbers, and embezzlers. They try to pursue status, amount popular friends and show their face in the trendiest of places, yet at the end of the day, they get the experience of none. At best, they might eventually move into the upper middle class echelons of society and retire with a dog and a white picket fence lamenting themselves of what could have been. To their irony, I, instead, chase myself in hopes of self discovery and fulfillment, and here I get to meet these fascinating people everyone is so hopeful to hound down.

Last night’s experience was definitely enjoyable. It makes me miss those days in Moscow where I would be chauffeured around town without much care and enjoy spending my time submerged in culture with family in a calm, almost surreal environment. It really is a different culture behind closed doors. Outside world paints these people as extravagant, boisterous and flashy when the reality could not be further. They are highly private, very gentle, calm and exhibit a certain type of etiquette that the common world has long forgotten. It is refreshing. These people worry more about developing themselves and living a life that is fulfilling, than amounting riches. Funny, what they amount comes from what they love. That, or they hide it very well.

This experience was truly inspiring; makes me want to achieve so much more for myself, and push harder in my field. Something that the architect has said last night was blatantly true and interesting – formal education does not provide, but character, drive and the desire to grow does. Both these people stepped away from the traditional path and made themselves even when the world told them to ‘fuck off’ – thus I must push harder and do so myself, for myself, as well. Inspiration comes in many forms, sometimes in art and music, this time in company.